By Viktoria and Valentine, your guides to healthy, playful, and loving intimacy
How many times this week have you shared touch with someone? Did you share a simple hug, caress, a solid lingering kiss, and some playful loving? Or, did you find yourself feeling lonely and craving more affection than you get?
Feeling deprived of meaningful human contact is becoming the new norm. Since the 1950s, there has been extensive research done on touch and many of the studies show that ‘skin hunger’ or ‘touch starvation’, as it is commonly known, is negatively impacting our health.
In our age of digital connection and pervasive sexual abuse and harassment, touch no longer feels safe.
Maybe you don’t know how you want to be touched or maybe you don’t want to hurt your partner’s feelings by telling them something they’re doing does not feel good.
Maybe you do not want to be touched somewhere specific because of past traumas.
Maybe you hesitate to touch your partner in the ways you desire because you fear you will be rejected or judged for wanting more sensual, energetic, emotional, and physical intimacy.
Whatever you are feeling, it’s okay. Because no one teaches us what healthy, consensual, and loving touch is or how to express what we need and want. Even so, it’s never too late. Anyone can learn these skills with the help of an intimacy coach. Here’s a little insight into what it’s like to work with one of us:
Getting to know yourself – We’ll invite you to take two short and fun surveys to gather insight on who you are, what you like, and how you receive and give love. Then, we’ll sit together and discuss the results, giving you a better understanding of what it all means.
Discussing boundaries and consent – Knowing what you do like is equally important as knowing what you do not like. Together, we will talk boundaries and consent, for you or for you and your partner to establish deeper levels of intimacy and trust with yourself and to stay on the same page with a partner.
Learning to ask for what you desire – Being able to tell your partner what you want or when something feels good, or not, can take some practice. We’ll work through some communication techniques that make it easier for you to confidently voice your needs and desires.
Studying new touch techniques – Intercourse does not always equal intimacy. In other words, just because you’re having sex, does not mean you’re receiving or giving fulfilling touch. An intimacy coach will share sensual massage techniques that will feed the need for touch and lead to full-body tingles and excitement.
Understanding the anatomy of arousal – Part of mastering intimate touch is understanding what you’re working with. We’ll discuss both female and male pleasure points to deepen your sensual experiences and arousal.
Checking in with yourself and your partner – How you are feeling one day may be vastly different than how you feel the next. For example, maybe last week all you wanted was a good cuddle, but this week you’re hankering to be tied up and sensually dominated. We’ll show you how to take moments to check-in with yourself and your partner, so the lines of communication are always open and the touch you receive or give ensures deep levels of fulfillment.
Receiving in-person guidance – When and if you are ready, we will be available to coach you through an intimate massage with your partner or teach you massage techniques for yourself and future lovers. It is an opportunity for you to practice what you’ve learned and have guided support through different stages of physical, emotional and energetic intimacy. Note: The intimacy coach is fully clothed. You may choose to be clothed or not.
Staying open for a follow-up – After our work together, we will have a debrief on your solo experiences and/or the experiences you shared with your partner and go over a few best practices for keeping the touch alive in your relationships. We are also always available via email or phone as you may need extra support.
Are you touch starved? Here’s one way to find out.
It’s easy to go about your day and never think twice about how much you’re being touched, or not. One way to find out is by keeping a touch journal. Whether you accidentally bump into a stranger or hug your mother, write it down.
This allows you to get clarity on your physical experiences with everyone from strangers to those you love. And if you notice you’re craving more touch in your intimate relationships, we are here to help.
As your intimacy coach, one of us can work with you to gently shed light on any conditioning or barriers you might be unknowingly holding on to and open you up to more healthy, consensual, and loving touch.
Want to know more? You can contact www.playfulloving.com